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Who am I

Writer's picture: Kashaun ParkerKashaun Parker

Updated: Jan 25, 2022


Who am I? The truth was I never stopped to ask myself the question, Who am I? I had always taken great satisfaction and pleasure in the many labels that I had worn.


This was me for so many years.. it would go something like this:

I am Kashaun

I am daughter to my parents

I am the third eldest sibling among 7 children

I am highly educated

I am a wife

I am a mother

I am a homeowner

I am a leader in my career


All of these labels worked great because I felt they served me in some way. I took pride in wearing each of them because I felt they were a privilege that I had earned.


Well in 2016, when I was handed two more labels, Widow and Single Mother! Neither of them were ones that I wanted or felt applied to me.


I got angry

I got frustrated

I was sad

I was depressed


I didn’t want to be a widow, but I am…

I didn’t want to be a single mother, but I am…


Life isn’t fair I thought. I don’t deserve this!

What is the truth? I was right.


Life isn’t fair and I don’t deserve this...


At this point, when I was asked the question, who am I?


I was in an identity crisis....


I didn't like my labels and I didn't identity with them! THEY WERE NOT ME!!!


But, I placed my identity behind the labels and who am I now that I am wearing labels that I don't want!


The reality for us all as we are going through the process of grief and loss is we find ourselves in an identity crisis.


You are no longer a spouse, and you are not the same person you were before you got married. This is a painful realization!!!


You may feel lost, confused, and withdrawn because your sense of belonging has eluded you.


So, who are you? Deep inside without tying your identity to a marital status, career role, or family role WHO ARE YOU? WHO DO YOU WANT TO BE?


As you reflect, begin to ask yourself…


What do I like?

What makes me unique?

What makes me special?

Who do I want to be now?


Let’s redefine who we are! Let’s embrace our uniqueness!


I’ll Start:

I am Kashaun,

I am extremely blessed

I have a great sense of humor

I am someone that enjoys solitude

I am loving of myself and others that surround me

I am passionate about learning

I am dedicated

I am overbearing

And I love me ALL of me


Who are you?

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